RE: RE: Dear Mother Nature; An Open Letter.

Dear Mother Nature,

Hello, it’s me again:  Jeremy.  Speaking on behalf of the Pacific Northwest.  I wrote you earlier about your repeated abuse of our usually placid weather habits.  I believe that you will remember the letter; the snow, the ice, the wind.  I must say that your response was met with a lukewarm reception.

We really appreciate the fact that you decided to end the snowfall in the valleys.  No, it was not in time to stop the rutting of I-5 so badly that cars can not drive in the right lane anymore, or the multitude of car accidents attributed directly to your pervasive fluffy frozen water, but it was appreciated none the less.

That being said, the fact that you chose to replace it with torrents of water the likes of which not seen since the floods of Noah put a damper on any celebrations that we may have had.  Indeed, the fact that I-5 is now closed due to the fact that houses are floating away in Chehalis and Toledo and Vader and all of the podunk towns that seem to be the only ones hurt when you decide to pour Lake Michigan into our measly rivers has hit us right in the feel-bads.

Let me put it this way: us here in the Northwest are use to rain… we can handle it pretty well.  The rain here, however, is usually something like walking through a mister; it gets you kind of wet, but never really results in floating livestock.  The rain that you are heaping upon us is more like sticking your head directly under a waterfall while standing next to a jet engine.

I think that you can see the problem we are having.

Not that we are ungrateful of weather.  Breathing and growing and all of that is nice, but if you could please just ease up just a little bit, that would be greatly appreciated.  When old Mrs. Crab-Apple of Vader Washington has to be taken out of her balcony window by the fire department in a BOAT, things have gone a little awry.

Again, please take my recommendations under consideration and give us here in the Northwest a chance to catch our breath before what I can only imagine is another series of wet, windy weathter that you will be throwing our way sometime in the near future.

Thank you for your time,

-Jeremy-