It is beginning.
Today marked yet another successful launch of that overly complex yet hugely useful piece of American technological sophistication the Space Shuttle. Yes, the Endeavor blasted through low cloud cover in a night launch to bring the first piece of the Japanese Space Station Module Kibo into orbit and attach it to that other piece of scientific bondoggle the ISS. Unfortunately for us, however, this is not the only thing aboard the Shuttle.
No, NASA could not leave well enough alone, and this time they got the Canadians in on it. Indeed, aboard the Shuttle is a piece of equipment so insidious that they didn’t press-release it until very soon before the launch. This item is called DEXTRE, and it is a robot.
A
ROBOT
Now many people will assume that it was an inevitability that a robot would be launched into orbit, and many people would be correct. That being said, I feel that not enough is being made of the fact that the precursor to our future titanium-skinned overlords will soon be floating through space, its gleaming robot eye looking downward on our cities and weeping oily robot tears at the possibilities presented by its situation. Yes, this cybernetic monstrosity is connected to the space station. True, it is not an intelligent automaton, instead existing as a remotely operated tool of the NASA space station maintenance team.
That is not the point. Look at this thing!
“Force moment sensor?” “Power data grapple fixture?” “Latching End Effector?” “Electronics Platform?!” This thing has more acronyms than Devo has crappy songs.
Despite this things fairly innocuous purported uses, it looks like a bastard lovechild between HAL 9000 and 
V.I.N.C.E.N.T. from Disney’s The Black Hole. Despite that, who is to say that a rogue cosmonaut could not switch out one of his arms with a giant laser, beginning a cycle of orbital doom that culminates in our ultimate enslavement by the robot army? No one, that’s who.
Now there are going to be neigh-sayers out there who think that I am over-reacting. Likewise there is at least one person who is going to agree that this is going to happen, but is okay with it due to his continuous kowtowing and pandering to the forces of mechanized doom (you know who you are).
You are all in the wrong… Im just saying; when bolts of maple syrup flavored high energy plasma (it’s a Canadian robot, remember?) start raining down on your heads from above and your radio starts emitting the ever-so-faint sound of synthesized laughter through the static, you will look to me for guidance and wont get any, because I will be hiding in a bunker, shaking my head in disbelief that more people didn’t listen.
